Oh look at me

I've just done the unthinkable. I'm now following my own blog. I'm surprised it even allows me to do that! Surely that's just needless encouragement of vanity and self-obsession. I'm writing a blog for christ's sakes, something for which extraordinary narcissism is an essential ingredient, I'm pretty certain I'm arrogant enough already*.

I'm shocked and appalled in fact. Google, what were you thinking? You've gone and discouraged me from ever reading another person's blog again... I'm going to do nothing but sit here and stare at my own nonsense out of pure emotional masturbation, forever more.

I hope you're happy. This is a sad day for empty, meaningless online human interaction.



*I may be exaggerating, my arrogance will never catch up with my sheer distilled awesomeness.

Facebook: The Current Situation

I'm quite disgusted and openly horrified at myself to admit that I went on to return to facebook. Less than a week after that last post all those months ago, in fact.

No one gets out alive, suffice to say.

I like to think I'm much the same as I was, as a person, before my soul was consumed by facebook. Days just had a considerably larger number of hours. People's faces didn't have blue square outlines. I left the house occasionally*.

Anyway, all 0 of you follower types now know why I haven't posted in ten months or thereabouts.

Mission accomplished. If Facebook notices I'm gone it'll beat me half to death with notifications and deprive me of food for a week.
Over and out!



*That may not be entirely true, I did leave the house once over the last ten months, to make threatening gestures at gathering real estate agents.

My Traumatic Experience

Of Facebook.

I signed up last night, against my better judgement, for facebook. I was immediately informed that I had been added as a friend by copious numbers of Middle Eastern totalitarian dictators, and various other sinister-sounding characters, including at least 40 Muhammads, Mohammeds, and other similarly prophetically-named folk. Needless to say, all were accepted, as I embrace any opportunity to broaden my horizons and make new friends!

Moving on, before I'd even had a chance to get my bearings in the unnecessarily complicated world of facebook, the site decided it was somewhat opposed to continuing to function. I was left stranded on the page that was asking for my school, college and company, presumably for the benefit of the Middle Eastern dictators. After clicking and clicking on the misnomer of a 'Save and Continue' button for several hours, I discovered the Settings link in the top right corner. I was overjoyed, an escape into the universe of beautifully simplistic technicalities! A release from the gruelling monotony of typing the name of my school over and over again!

I made my way to the Language tab, and after experimenting with Gaeilge (most of which I was, surprisingly, able to understand) and Pirate English, which was temporarily amusing enough that I managed to make my way to my Home Port and add a couple of Hearteys and Mateys who weren't likely to track me down and kill me.

However, despite the slight enjoyment I had from Ye Olde Facebooke's piracy, it soon betrayed me once more, a most grievous betrayal I was simply unable to forgive it for.

Being your typical over-dramatic self-absorbed teenage girl, or wench as facebook would describe me, one of my main ambitions was to achieve internet fame of sorts by plastering images of myself in awkward poses with my face distorted into some variety of fashionable grimace, all over the internet.
Facebook denied me the realisation of this dream, by failing to grant me the ability to designate myself a profile picture.

I could no longer bear the humiliation and utter devastation facebook forced on me, and after promptly restoring my language to English English, I found myself capable of removing my profile and soon did so, stating my reason for leaving as "I've had enough of these shenanigans!"

It wouldn't do to give them the satisfaction of constructive feedback, nor the ability to correct the issues that forced me to leave.

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